Ours is a world of dualities, universe fraught with
contradictions. It is a plane where the borders between life and death
are forever erased and diminished; where the godly and the diabolical
are constantly dissolved in a fine mixture of flesh and bone. At the
precise moment of recollection, our collective narrative takes on a
dynamic all its own; transformed from an insipid and lifeless monochrome
into a grand tapestry of colors and forms - a celebration of suspended
movement, a recrudescence of infinite hue. In that vast canvas of
Creation, every line and pigmentation is but the frozen moment of birth
caught in the vise of asphyxia; an ancient wisdom commingled in the
exuberance of youth; of full-grown maturity epitomized in the innocence
of childhood. Reduced to a bare minimum, everything is a kin to the
lingering shadow of the night made barren by the warm solace of candle
light; or the crisp, smooth texture of a sheet of paper at the moment of
contact with the sharp edge of a stylus nib. Caught in the whirlwind of
polar opposites, the limitless cosmos becomes the scene of an unending
tug-of-war between lightness and weight; novelty and decay; yin
and yang, the inane and the sublime. For life - as the summation
of contracts, of all that is dark and fair, passionate and dull - is but
a replica of such duality. In a single individual existence, the
synopses of two different lives are inevitably intertwined, gilded like
that of the sun's unfolding light upon the earth's bright, morning sky.
Hence, for a mother, her life is but an extension of
that of her child and mirror image of that of her progeny. It is an
existence that is forever steep in mutual dependence, of constant
emotional sustenance. Take the other and the narratives is no longer
complete, forever torn asunder, unable to form a perfect whole.
And for Pasay, her life is a living testimony to such
diaphanous yet tragic verity. For by the end of May 1992, she found her
life suddenly malfigured and transfixed, losing her one and only son in
a spasm of blood and violence at the behest of a faltering military
regime.
A mother of three and the sterner half of long-failed
matrimonial union, Pasay is one of those rare Thai women who is able to
mix tenderness and resilience, meekness and fortitude. Already in her
60s and at the threshold of her sunset years, Pasay was born in a life
of relative ease, with all the comfort and amenities inherent in the
ways and norms of the middle class. Owning her own piece of real state
house and a few possessions, her means and wherewithal are surely
beyond the desolate, with the thought of politics as the least of her
concerns.
But in a country whose history has been marked by
countless coups and counter-coups, of conspiratorial cliques and mass
dissent, such a lifestyle of seeming unconcern is bound to end -
sometimes in a state of daze, but more often through a process of rude
awakening.
In mid-1991, in a style reminiscent of the 1970s,
Thailand's duly-constituted civilian government was suddenly overthrown
by the Army General Staff, wresting control of the most vital political
institutions and keeping the population in a state suspense and frantic
expectation. Proffering the usual justifications and alibis from
putschists of all colors and stripes, the military promised to restore
civilian authority in a year or so after the holding of general
elections, and proceeded to the creation of an interim government,
presumably for the purpose of transition.
But the Army, intoxicated by prestige and perks, soon
reneged on its pledge and took command of the ill-dubbed National Peace
keeping Council (NPKC) In an act of growing intransigence, coup leader
and Army General Suchinda Kraprayoon assumed the premiership on the 7th
of April 1992 despite his previous claims to the country, precipitating
Thailand's most acute social political crisis in the past twenty years.
Enraged by the Army's arrogance and lack of scruples, thousands of
civilians took to the streets to demand Suchinda's ouster and the
restoration of civilian rule. After the breakdown of the negotiations
between a panic-stricken military and a large plethora of opposition
parties, a crackdown suddenly ensued with the first shots of gunfire
breaking out along the stretch of Ratchadamneon Avenue shortly after
midnight of May 17. in its tragic aftermath, hundreds of demonstrators
were shot dead and scores of others seriously wounded, while some remain
missing and unaccounted for up to this day. Resulting in one of the most
massive records of involuntary disappearance in recent memory, the Event
of May 1992 has become one of the darkest stains in Thai history.
According to the Ministry of Interior, 38 persons "disappeared" during
the melee while other official sources record an additional 255 - a
total of 293. And one of whom is Pasay's son.
Thrown into sudden fit of bewilderment and confusion,
Pasay soon found herself scurrying through the city streets, looking for
her disappeared kin. As her foray grew farther away from home, she began
to spend the night in the open-air and sidewalks, with the night sky as
her pillow.
As if losing a son was not enough, she even lost her
earthly possessions due to her husband's innumerable vices.
Misunderstood by her family and friends, she was soon abandoned by her
two remaining children and became a semi-permanent fixture in the
streets of Bangkok.
b A parent with no permanent abode, she soon found some
living quarters inside a Buddhist temple. Given a modest room and a
small stove, she was assigned to clean a specific latrine inside the
sacred compound and allowed to sell pieces of toilet paper and fish
beads to the temple visitors. As a rule however, she was not allowed to
keep the proceeds, though her lodging and other basic necessities were
given to her free of charge.
Despite the temple's providing her personal haven for
the past years, she still tried to commit suicide, due to her extreme
sadness and perhaps, inconsolable loss. thank heavens for her fellow
borders' alertness and constant concern!
In time, Pasay was given reparation, along with the
other victims' of the May 1992 Event. Her estranged husband and
children, however, wanted to have a share of the reparation but were
justly denied, with the amount placed in a time deposit.
But still, Pasay continues to wait. For neither the
temple monks' solitude nor the government's hollow consolations can
bring her son back into her loving arms. Only justice can right a wrong
and bring harmony to a mother's distraught existence.
Surely, order must be brought back in Thailand's
distorted universe.
*****
In September 1999, in one of the plush halls of the
Royal Plaza Hotel, a frail-looking man in retirable age took the
microphone and narrated, in near-whispers, his personal loss in the
Events of May 1992. In his recollection, punctuated by occasional pause
and silent intervals, he disclosed the disappearance of his two sons and
his frantic search for justice. Working in a government department that
oversees the various religious institutions and which requires that its
employees upon retirement be replaced by one of their children, the man
who identified himself as Nippon, now has no one to succeed him.
Survived by his wife and daughter, he made a
desperate attempt to find his missing offspring, roaming the capital in
his old motorcycle to no avail. Emotionally overwhelmed, he decided to
burn all his sons' memorabilia, sparing neither picture nor written
records, as a way to assuage the pain and the enormity of their family's
grief. Hence, with the current efforts to document every possible case,
they do not have in their possession a single piece of certificate to
bolster their claim.
In that same occasion, an old man in his 70's also
spoke, stating that with only a few years ahead of him, his only wish is
to see his disappeared daughter - dead or alive. If ever that will be
granted, he would "have no qualms in closing his eyes in eternal
slumber," he said.
Such stories for Adul Khiewboriboon, President of the
Relatives Committee of the May 1192 Heroes, are the inchoate narratives
that form the essence of their struggle. Apart from these testimonies
are countless other narratives which remain unknown and undisclosed, due
either to the refusal of the victims to share their painful experiences
or to their inability to control their anger and grief. With no room for
catharsis, they continue to be victimized, unable to take full
possession of their lives. But to Adul and a host of others, it is these
individual accounts that give impetus to their undertaking; and for the
past eight years, these have given their campaign a sense of importance,
despite government's inaction and increasing disinterest.
In 1999 for example, the Ministry of Defense
commissioned a team to lead an investigation into the May 1992 democracy
uprising. Headed by General Pichit Kullawanich, the team submitted its
findings in a 600-page report. The Thai government, however, revealed
only eight pages of the said document, despite the insistence of various
civil society groups for its full disclosure. Unfortunately, even with
the high hopes which the incoming administration of Prime Minister
Thaksin Shinawatra has in abundance, Khiewboriboon remains unimpressed,
acknowledging the new premier's lack of understanding of democracy and
human rights issues.
Even before he could formally assume the country's
much-coveted position, Thaksin has already managed to raise alarm
signals with the resignation of Thepchai Yong, news editor of ITV -
Thailand's most outspoken and critical television - after 41% of its
shares were bought by the Prime Minister's Shin Corp. Democracy
activists are now concerned that such a move could mean that from now
on, Thai media would have to toe the line and give favorable reports
on Thaksin and his Thai Rak Thai Party. Moreover, the new Prime
Minister seems unable to shake off charges of corruption and vote
buying, allegation which are totally out-of-tune with his populist
posture. This is further aggravated by the government's unwillingness to
rehabilitate the victims and extend assistance in whatever form. Under
these circumstances. the victims' quest for their long-awaited day of
vindication may still be far from the offing.
Listen intently to the victims' painful narratives.
They could very well be your own.
