TABLE OF CONTENTS

EDITORIAL

COVER STORY

- Realizing A World Without Desaparecidos

COUNTRY SITUATIONS

- The Making of Nepal’s Anti-disappearance Law

- Disappearances & Fake Encounters

NEWS FEATURES

- Claimants 1081

- Tracing Patterns of Disappearances in Latin America

- For the Want of Peace & Justice

- Probing Deeper into Munir’s Death

- Out of the Shadows

- Reclaiming Stolen Lives

PHOTO ESSAY

INTERNATIONAL SOLIDARITY

- Growing Federation

- At the Heart of Buenos Aires

REPRINT

- Submissions to the Independent Group of Eminent Persons

STATEMENTS

- Exhuming Truth

- Joint Statement of Independent Observers for the GRP - NDF Peace Process

POEM

- Of The Vanished

News Feature


 

A woman from Kathmandu collapsed when she shared her husband’s disappearance for the first time. In Kashmir, a 60 year-old father cried as he recalled the day he lost his son.  A 10 year-old daughter of a desaparecido from Muzaffarabaday eat breakfast with her father again.  These are three individuals living in different countries; characterized by different backgrounds and cultures.  But as families of the disappeared, they share in one common pain.

   

The wife grieves over her husband who can either still be alive and suffering or already dead, the father continues to agonize over the thought that his son is being tortured in the detention center, the little daughter struggles growing up without ever knowing her father.  These are the sufferings of the families of the disappeared: the pain of loss, of never knowing what happened, of eternally waiting, of forever wanting to turn back time, of ceaselessly hurting.     

The victims of enforced disappearances and their families are the living witnesses to the cruelest form of abuse against humanity.  Emotionally battered through time, if not healed, they will tend to withdraw into the shadows of despair, reliving their nightmares and fearsome of life to move on.    

Thus, AFAD launched in 2004 a rehabilitation program to help draw each of the family members out of their shadowed corners and bring them together to share their experiences, process their grief,  give strength to one another, and most importantly, heal their wounds and find joy in living once more.   

During the last quarter of 2006, this program was soon echoed and brought to the AFAD member-families in Pakistan, Kashmir, Southern Thailand and Nepal.

 

Innocent dreams  

Member families of the Truth and Justice Commission (TJC) in Pakistan didn’t mind the long travel from District Bagh, Rawalkot and Muzzafarabad to the Liquat Garden in Rawalpindi to attend the rehabilitation arranged for them in late October.  Carrying their children along with them, they considered the journey a pilgrimage and also a healing process in itself already for the grieving mothers as it gave them some quiet time for reflection and prayers.    

Quite interestingly, while the mothers shared the burdens of their hearts to the group, their children excitedly labored on dressing up their paper dolls with colorful cut-out garments.  Krystal and Basila [not their real names], merrily chatted while they traced their dolls and chose the colored papers they wanted to use.  Both girls picked what they considered as happy colors.  Krystal chose yellow while Basila chose blue.  These are the colors of the sun and sky, they explained.  When Basila finished, she showed her doll dressed in a patchwork of colors.  At first glance, the bright paper doll showed a person full of life.  However, looking closer at her garment, the doll reflected a wounded girl trying to hide her pain behind a patchwork of colorful dreams of the future.    

At such a young age, Krystal and Basila hardly remember their disappeared fathers.  They simply get to know who their fathers were through the stories they hear.  They ran around and play like all the other children of their age.  But when asked what they wish for in life, their answer is simple: to have their fathers come home and fill the empty seat on the family’s dining table.

 

Search for meaning 

Amidst the beauty of the Dal Lake and the grandeur of the Himalayas, the Association of Parents of Disappeared Persons (APDP) gathered the families of the disappeared in Kashmir in a cozy houseboat for a three-day rehabilitation session.  It was mid-November then, and the winter season had begun wrapping the people in cold fogs. The families, nevertheless, found warmth among each other as they huddled around the bukhari1 and shared their painful stories.  

Often finding themselves alone in the world following the disappearance of their dear husbands or sons, the participants shared how they have struggled trying to find meaning in their lives.  Bahkti, an 80-year old woman, said that she feels like she has “died” since her son disappeared.  She recalled how the military harassed them and burned down their house the day the military dragged her son away never to be seen again.  Often, she wondered what her driving force is that allows her to get up in the morning, walk and continue waiting for her beloved son’s return.  However, remembering the two lovely granddaughters her son left, she said their presence and also the grace of God are the two things which give her the strength to wake up and live another day.

 

In limbo  

Families of the disappeared in Nepal weathered the cold December wind blowing from the Himalayas to come to the Park Village Hotel and attend the rehabilitation session which the Federation had arranged together with Advocacy Forum. 

Strikingly, most of the participants were dressed in red.  According to the wives of the disappeared, wearing clothes of the crimson shade indicates that the woman’s husband has died.  However, they admitted that they feel quite uneasy with their red garments because their husbands are disappeared, not dead.  They continue to hold on to the last memories of their husbands; images of their spouses vibrant with life.  Yet, with the passage of time and the futile searches, their men’s absence has become haunting.  They eventually found themselves battling with the thought that death has claimed their husbands.  Such dilemma has left many of them broken and devastated.

 

Uncontrollable tears 

In the Land of Smiles, families of the disappeared couldn’t help their tears from flowing when they remember how their loved ones were snatched away from their lives.   

During the rehabilitation conducted also in December for the member - families of the Working Group on Justice for Peace, AFAD’s new member-organization in Southern Thailand, a distressed participant said that at first, she didn’t want to come to the program.  She explained that she often avoided people because she tends to talk about her loss and she cries a river of tears.  “I feel better when I talk.  But I also feel crazier because I can’t stop!” she added feeling rather confused.  

She nevertheless decided to go because she wanted to meet  Angkhana, the wife of disappeared human rights lawyer Somchai Neelaphaijit.  Families of the disappeared in Thailand admire  Angkhana for her steadfast courage in seeking justice for her husband and for her relentless effort to help families of the victims of disappearances. 

 

Investing in life again 

Healing is a process of identifying and acknowledging all the emotions the families feel.  “If they are angry, they must  own it.  If they are sad,  then cry,” explained Cecilia Lioanag, the psychologist who handled the session in Southern Thailand.  But the psychologists said that families must not simply end there.  As facilitators, they helped them realize that as individuals, they have the power to choose to get out of negative emotions.  They said that victims of trauma tend to get sucked into their shadowed corners and choose to stay there and feel the pain.  Thus, according to them, it is important that they “invest in life again.” 

The resource persons also noted the importance of healing among parents for the sake of their children.  They said that as parents suffer from trauma, so do their children.  They explained that children are very sensitive to the emotional and mental state of the people within their home environment.  The negative stories which trickle down to the young ones can gravely affect them as these fragments of narratives about their disappeared fathers or brothers leave a lot to their imagination; and they do not know how to control their feelings.  

Furthermore, a support system strengthens healing and helps it become more effective.  Most of the participants shared that they feel helpless and hopeless when they are alone.  The presence of other people who can relate with them and understand their pain gives them a sense of comfort; to hear stories of others which are similar to their experiences brings a sense of collectiveness among themselves.  Significantly, stories of those who fought through their pain to seek truth and justice, inspire them to choose to join the fight; to get out of the shadows and live again.

 

(Footnotes)

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Jennifer S. Pacursa was a freelance research-reporter and a college instructor at a protestant school in Cagayan de Oro before joining the AFAD secretariat in Manila. She is an alumnae of Siliman University with a a Bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and has earned her MBA at Xavier University specializing in Production and Program Development.


VOICE August 2007

 

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